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He feels a strong attraction to her. She wonders if he could be "the one." In the glamorous haze of early romantic attraction it's hard to know whether a relationship will lead to true love-or to a negative or even catastrophic relationship. This book helps men and women who want healthy and satisfying marriages identify the early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Dr. Warren shows readers how to hold out for God's best for their lives instead of settling for the first one to come along and outlines the factors that increase the chances for marital success. For those who want to become wiser in their relationship choices, this practical guide will help them find the love they want and avoid the pain they don't need.
Revised edition of How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less.
- Sales Rank: #80259 in Books
- Brand: HarperCollins Christian Pub.
- Published on: 2005-08-30
- Released on: 2005-08-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.99" h x .55" w x 5.24" l, .45 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
About the Author
As one of America's best-known relational psychologists, Dr. Warren earned his Master of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Chicago. His first book, Make Anger Your Ally, was heralded a "must read" by Time magazine, and his best-selling Finding the Love of Your Life won a Gold Medallion. Learning to Live with the Love of Your Life, and Loving It was selected by USA Today as an outstanding contribution to the field of marriage. His most recent books are God Said It, Don’t' Sweat It and How to Know if Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less. He and his wife, Kay, live in southern CA, and have three grown daughters.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
basic intro to eHarmony -- in a book
By Frank Carpenter
paperback edition
In case you don't recognize the name, Dr. Warren is one of the founders of eHarmony.com. Hey, just like it says on the cover of this book.
I bought this book because I have been thinking lately that I need to clarify what I want in my next partner. And this book is precisely about that. The subtitle is "how to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less."
In the introduction, Dr. Warren recommends using this book in conjunction with a membership on the website. I did not do that. I read the book. For me, this book is a great introduction for someone who wants more details about eHarmony without having to sign up for a membership. Having said that, I understand how a membership on the website would be beneficial -- you start meeting people with whom you are compatible. Emphasis on compatible. It relates to your overall happiness, to the success of your relationship. Read this book, and compatibility will make loads of sense.
It is an easy book to read. My total time reading it would be the rough equivalent of having read it easily in one day, with lots of breaks.
I do recommend reading the entire book before trying to go though the exercises. That will give you a better idea of how to focus your "must have" and "can't stand" lists. And even an idea of whether or not you should pursue a relationship at this time.
I enjoyed this book. But it loses a star for the following:
page 132
"In order to speed this process, and to quantify it, I have developed what I call a 'bottom-line' test, which I mentioned in an earlier chapter (this is part of my 'Finding the Love of Your Life Kit'---information about this resource can be found at the end of the book)."
I could not find any info on said "Finding the Love of Your Life Kit" at the end of the book. If you were able to find it, please point it out to me. I am interested. Unless Dr. Warren's idea of "information" is to direct me to the website.
When I get around to doing all of the exercises, and maybe even joining the website, I will return and report. Meanwhile, I'm reading the sequel.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Know Thyself
By Sunshine
Probably one of the best books that I read in my 30's. This book gives you criteria to take into consideration when you are looking for Mr Right. Avoid settling. Keep in mind what you really want in a long-term partner and keep that list in your head while dating. If your date doesn't meet your criteria keep on moving. Sometimes our judgment can be clouded by emotions, excitement when we first meet someone. Dr Warren gives you tips to stay focused. Know yourself! Know what you must have in a relationship and what you cannot stand. What are your deal breakers? Is spirituality important to you? Is intimacy important to you? What about ambition, personal habits, interests, etc? Sometimes we ignore all of these key elements for the sake of having heated romance. But once the passion dies down, we are still left with that someone. And sometimes we realize that they do not meet our expectations. Be patient and find someone who is already who you are looking for NOT someone you are hoping to change.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Very Helpful Tool
By Sallybell
This was really helpful for helping to identify the qualities and traits that I am seeking and those that would cause me to pull the plug. My only criticism is that Dr. Warren directs us to limit our Must Haves and Can't Stands to only ten each, but the top 50 examples that he gave for those were too specific. So I see using this as a tool for analysis while dating.
And I can lump 11 of his Must Haves/Can't Stands together under Christian Character as a Must Have by using 1 Corinthians 13 --
1. Patient
2. Kind
3. Does not envy
4. Does not boast
5. Not arrogant
6. Not rude
7. Does not insist on own way
8. Not irritable
9. Not resentful
10. Does not rejoice in wrongdoing
11. Rejoices in the truth
There is NO WAY to limit his example Must Haves and Can't Stands to only 10. MOST of the 50 are things that most of us want or most of us would reject. There is NO WAY that anyone would willingly seek a partner exhibiting 40 of his listed Can't Stands, they are far too offensive. But this is still a good tool for reviewing my feelings about someone's behavior. Most importantly, Dr. Warren does not allow any wiggle room regarding those of the Narcissistic persuasion. He says...Run! Thirty years of marriage counseling gives him a lot of credibility in saying that the odds are against therapy improving any relationship with a Narcissistic partner
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